Getting married to your soul mate is a beautiful union; it’s a celebration like no other as it marks the beginning of a brand new chapter in both your lives. Along with all the happiness though come the In-laws which can sometimes are hard to deal with. This reminds me of the movie “Monster-in-law”. Jane Fonda played the ‘scary’ mother-in-law who made one women’s life (Jennifer Lopez) miserable all because she felt replaced.
A lot of moms feel that they are supposed to be the leading ladies in their son’s life and when a new woman arrives they can get territorial and some even go to the extent of making their sons feel like they have to choose between the two of them. So the tug of war begins and in some situations the effects are so bad that they end in divorce because you can replace a wife, but you can’t replace your mom.
When it comes to any difficult relationship, there are a few tips that can be used to minimise conflict:
- Communicate: tackle any issues as soon as possible by being honest and up front about the situation and your views. This is not to say that you are laying down the law so much as showing the other person what you believe.
- Listen: a big part of communication is really listening to what the other person is saying and taking in their concerns instead of just jumping in with your own views.
- See both sides of the story: try and sensitive to the fact that no one person is the same and all people have different point of views. Seeing both sides of the story does not mean that you are comprising your own beliefs, it just means that you are less likely to become overly defensive (which always stirs tensions).
The Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is one of the most complicated human connections. It comes with built-in-conflict before the relationship even begins: two radically different views of the same man.
The best way to approach this relationship is with the determination from both parties to try and make it work. In the end, it will benefit all parties, including the son/husband.